There are so many ways that you can please you husband and at the same time be the annoying wife.
We got this message to our female fans out there ….
• Don’t greet him in the morning with a complaint.
• Don’t welcome him back from work with a barrage of family needs.
• Meet his need to rest first before you ask him to meet your need to talk.
• Don’t criticize him unduly.
• Begin your communication from the vantage point of the things that interest him. Talk about his work even if you don’t like to.
• Use jokes or humourous things that happened around the home or elsewhere to draw him out of his shell.
• Explore avenues for joint ventures. Joint venture partners are always forced to talk about their common projects. Let your husband know your need to be talked to. Some wives do not make it plain. They complain and criticise without really letting their husband’s know their real needs. One husband said, “My wife sometimes shakes me awake and says, ‘Talk to me!’”
~ “Talk to you! What about?” “Anything. Just talk to me.”
~ “But I have nothing to talk about.” “What are you feeling?”
~ “Feeling? I feel tired, sleepy and a little hostile because you won’t let me alone.”
~ “Good. That is a feeling. Tell me some more. What are you really feeling?”
This woman let her husband know her need. She also got him to admit, through her persistence, that he was anxious over the possibility of losing his job . Men do not like to express their emotions for fear of being termed weak. Help your husband to talk about his fears. Don’t give up. Keep prodding him to open up.
Your husband may not always talk to you. But he also cannot always refuse to listen to you. Take the lead in communicating your feelings and aspirations to him.
Do it gently and lovingly when you can get his full attention. As you do this you will be teaching him a lesson in communication. Some women sometimes complain about their husband’s inability to communicate.
But they themselves often expect their husbands to read their minds. Men may not talk much, but they are masters in the art of non-verbal communication.
Actions speak louder than words. Tell him the things you like, so he can do them. For starters, how about these?
• I love flowers. Please buy me flowers.
• I want to be cuddled 30 minutes before actual love making.
• Tell me when you enjoy my food.
• Call me a beautiful name. If he doesn’t have a name, give yourself one and put up a “change of name” advert in your room, just as you would in a newspaper.
He may not be able to read your mind, but he can read a notice on the wall. For instance, “Call me Tendril”. Adequately communicate your need to your husband.
Teach him. Prepare him. Help him to help you. The more you appreciate him, the more you’ll be helping him to appreciate you.
The more you talk to him, the more he’ll learn to talk to you. This result may not be realized immediately. Nevertheless, learn to encourage him if he chooses to communicate non-verbally.
As Laura Watson argues, “Talking …is actually an elementary kind of communication. God seldom speaks in an audible voice, yet He communicates. The greater language is the language of the heart.” Learn to interpret and appreciate this language, if that’s what your husband chooses to “speak”.
“Communication experts say our words convey only about 20 percent of our meaning. More than 50 percent is conveyed by body language, and 85 percent by our attitude and spirit” Your husband may not tell you “Honey, I love you,” verbally. Yet the gift of a dress or a greeting card speaks a language of its own.
Appreciate your husband and tell him you understand what he is trying to say.